John Mayer Hates Everyone But Jennifer Aniston and Don Rickles

John Mayer just loves opening his mouth and releasing a spectacle or oratorical fireworks. Often he takes his rants to his blog and his mindless babbles try to make a point which is often moot.

In his latest entry his obsession with media outlets once again shines. This time he is “warning” us to “take heed.”

“Snarky gossip bloggers, take heed. You will never have a better knack for cutting people down than Don Rickles does. You owe much of your success – both pecuniary and otherwise – to the groundwork laid by [Rickles]. He made Perez Hilton look like a sycophant. Nobody – and I mean nobody – has what it takes to point out a morbidly obese man in the front row and call him out on it in song.

If you’re going to make someone laugh at the absurd, tell some truth with it; if you’re going to make someone cry, give them a silver lining to look to; and if you’re going to insult someone, as the legendary Don Rickles has for the last 55 years, always end it with a wink and a smile.”

After releasing his adoration for Don Rickles and pent up sexual aggression toward Perez, he defended his on and off again lady love, Jennifer Aniston. She recently was featured on the cover on GQ wearing nothing but a tie. Mayer felt that he needed to add his opinion to nudity.

“If you have a problem with that cover, go make bagels!”

Oh please! Please! Not bagels! Anything but the threat of warm and tasty cinnamon raisin bagels. I can’t take your clever repartee! You beastly verbal juggernaut.

The truth? Ok. John Mayer…you are the slightly more successful version of Kevin Federline or a hotter version of Gary Busey, you have an unjustified superiority complex and you pretty much lost any dignity after slumming it with Jessica Simpson. Here is your wink and smile by the way. I added a two finger salute just in case the British folk are feeling left out.

[People]